So, at 38 weeks, it was time to induce. Despite my attempts to get my body ready with acupuncture and induction massage, the baby was not in the right place to deliver. He was facing the wrong way, and with too much fluid in my uterus due to the gestational diabetes, he was floating above my pubic bone instead of entering the birth canal. For two days, we flowed between intensely painful interventions and extremely effective pain medications, an ebb and flow between feeling awful and feeling artificially great. When they finally offered a C-section, I was ready to get this baby out.

One miscarriage is traumatizing enough, but some unlucky few have to deal with two, three, four, or more miscarriages in our lives. It can be incredibly frustrating to have to go through the same nightmare over and over again, especially if there is no explanation for why this keeps happening. As someone who has experienced five miscarriages, I have thought a lot about the spiritual and energetic considerations of recurrent miscarriages.

Miscarriage is a devastating experience and shockingly common, happening in about one in four pregnancies. It is defined as any pregnancy loss before 20 weeks of gestation, so it can look like anything from a chemical pregnancy, which happens before 5 weeks, to a loss beyond the 12-week mark, when many of us assume we’re in the clear.

It is normal to ask about the meaning of horrible experiences like this, and there are a few ways we can think about how the body, mind, and spirit may be communicating through miscarriage.