One miscarriage is traumatizing enough, but some unlucky few have to deal with two, three, four, or more miscarriages in our lives. It can be incredibly frustrating to have to go through the same nightmare over and over again, especially if there is no explanation for why this keeps happening. As someone who has experienced five miscarriages, I have thought a lot about the spiritual and energetic considerations of recurrent miscarriages.

Miscarriage is a devastating experience and shockingly common, happening in about one in four pregnancies. It is defined as any pregnancy loss before 20 weeks of gestation, so it can look like anything from a chemical pregnancy, which happens before 5 weeks, to a loss beyond the 12-week mark, when many of us assume we’re in the clear.

It is normal to ask about the meaning of horrible experiences like this, and there are a few ways we can think about how the body, mind, and spirit may be communicating through miscarriage.

When my little one was a few weeks old, I remember feeling like I’d been hired for a job for which I had no experience. The hours were 24/7, there were infinite manuals, and zero agreement on the rules. Everyone has an opinion on parenting and there is no real gold standard to show you the “right” thing to do. My baby just turned one, and I’ve been thinking a lot about what I have learned in the last year.