The Values Exercise

A long time ago, a counselor handed me a sheet filled with values and asked me to fill out the exercise. I didn’t want to—I am not a “handout” kind of person as a general rule. But I did it anyway, and I have to admit, it actually changed my life. Sitting down and really thinking about what my values were helped me get clear on so many things that had felt confusing at the time. Anytime I’m sitting with a tough decision, I try to remind myself what my primary core values are, and the decision always eventually becomes clear through the lens of those values.

One of the things I work on really specifically with all my clients is the concept of living a life in alignment with your integrity. To me, integrity means staying in alignment with your values: those concepts and ideas that make you who you are (and guide you towards who you want to be). 

We all have values, whether we know it or not. Some of them come from our family, some come from our culture, and some are all our own. When we get a sense of what those values actually are, it’s much easier to set goals in accordance with them. If you’re facing a decision—especially a big one—knowing what your values are can go a long way towards helping you decide. When you can see your most important values right there in black and white, you can ask yourself which decision most closely aligns with those, and the decision often becomes clear right away. 

I’ve also found this exercise really helpful in looking at various realms of my life. Are my work decisions in alignment with my values? Are my values pretty close to those of my partner? My friends? Am I treating myself the way someone upholding these values would treat me? There are many insights that may come through this simple exercise. 

Here is a generic list of core values (download below). Feel free to add ones that you feel should be on there, or combine values that are listed separately but you see as being the same. There are many lists you can find pretty easily on the internet if you don’t like this one. 

Start by circling the values you resonate with. Of those, choose your top twenty, then your top ten of those, then refine again to your top three core values. If you like, do the exercise again when thinking about your work, and again when thinking about relationships—the answers may be slightly different. Let me know how it goes!

Julie Peters is a writer, yoga teacher, tarot reader, and wellness counselor. Learn more about her body-based Pathfinding program for one-on-one counseling at https://www.juliepeters.ca/pathfinding-sessions.