How to Choose a Spiritual Guide (Without Getting Scammed)
There is a reason so many people are suspect of anything that has even a tiny whiff of “woo woo” to it. It’s not so much that it might not be real, but more so that it might be a scam. And it might be! There are a lot of scammers out there, and the alternative healing realm is completely unregulated. That makes it dangerous for many of us.
When we are seeking spiritual guidance, it’s usually because we are hurting. Something is missing within us, and we need support and reassurance we can’t get in our day to lives. We can feel that there’s something else out there, and we want to connect to it. That need makes us vulnerable. And a lot of people like to take advantage of vulnerability.
“Woo woo” practices like Tarot, energy work, psychic sessions, and so on help us to tap into our non-rational selves: into our bodies or our nervous systems. Even if the work we do here is 100% metaphor without any actual connection to some “other side,” it can help our nervous systems and subconscious minds catch up with the healing our rational brains have already done. In my opinion, the best woo-woo is both spiritual and rational. So it’s a good idea to use your rational brain while you are looking for someone to help you get underneath it.
Here are some things to keep in mind that may help you to find someone who will keep you safe and jump-start your healing process.
Yes, the “woo woo” stuff is real, but it’s not material. People who have some access to energy, ancestors, the spirit world and so on are peering into a layer of existence that can have an influence on our material reality, but that doesn’t mean they can control it or tell you exactly what is going to happen in the future (though they might get a sense of energies or possibilities).
Even if some people can actually tell the future, it doesn’t do us any good to know it. Hearing a proclamation of a future event can be majorly anxiety inducing. If it’s a bad fortune, obviously that will lead us to a general sense of doom. But even if it’s a good fortune: what if it doesn’t happen? What if I do something to screw it up? It’s better for us to take life day by day.
Intuitives, psychics, and energy healers are human beings with flaws. In fact, the best ones are constantly engaged in their own healing. Their value sets will show up in their readings for you. Find someone who shares your values and is able to work with you on the places you want healing rather than making you feel like they are going to do something to you.
The most powerful person in the room when you are doing energy healing is you. Everyone has some intuitive powers; healers are usually those that are a bit more sensitive and have spent time honing their skills. They can guide you, but ultimately the change will take place within you. You must be an active participant in the process. If you don’t feel safe or comfortable with what they are doing, your spirit won’t budge anyway.
Just like counselors, therapists, and other practitioners who work with people’s wounds, spirit guides should be trauma-informed. That means they engage in informed consent and consistently give you choices. You should never feel forced or pressured into anything (again, if you stiffen up, your spirit won’t allow change anyway).
Yes, most healers and spirit guides charge for their services. It’s hard work to be a healer, and it is okay if someone wants to be paid for what they do. But costs should be clearly displayed and explained and you should never feel like you are getting “locked in” to a cost that isn’t comfortable for you.
Some of the best energy workers fold their spiritual practice into some other work, like massage therapy, counseling, or some other healing modality that helps them stay legitimate and share their healing work with clients who are interested in that. These are a bit hard to find, as they don’t often advertise the spiritual side of what they do, but if you find one stick with ‘em.
The best way to find someone to work with is likely through referral. Sometimes people “show up” at the right time—but beware that these folks may be “showing up” because they detected a vulnerability in you and are trying to take advantage of it. (Case in point: I once had someone cold-call me and tell me that my number had “appeared to them in a vision.” It later turned out this person was a full-on sex trafficker). Go ahead and search for people online, but look for some evidence of the history of their work and some clear sense of their style and values before you commit.
This is true in general, not just for the spiritual realm, but genuine people will never insist you have to “sign up right now.” Take your sweet time deciding what feels right for you. If they are for real, they’ll still be there if you decide in a week you want to go forward with working with them.
Good luck and take care of your spirit on your search!
